The chills and aches are running over my body as I alternate between typing and blowing my nose. It's already been 5 days butI no longer feel home.
49 days ago, I packed my haversack in a hurry. With insufficent space in my bag and insufficient power in my back, I had to leave behind so many things I wanted to bring along with me.
Why did I leave?
Perhaps because I could no longer live with the person I have become to be.
8 years ago I found God.
6 years ago I found myself. lost.
Lost in the expectations of men, society and family.
4 years ago I abandoned almost everything I came to believe in and fled. I was physically existing and not liking a single bit of it.
I indulged in any form of ill discipline I could - the fruit of which is time lost, and an extremely terrible clutter of mess and dust in my own room.
The journey I embarked on 49 days ago is a mere beginning.
So I came back, a little changed.
And not being able to tolerate my old habits.
The frustrating but childish question that bogged my mind and soul for 4 years is slowly crumbling into pieces. The dead knot slowly loosened and hopefully untied.
And the childish acts of defiance to my own well-being was no longer even temporarily satisfying.
A year ago, when I got a new phone, the lady kindly downloaded 'Angry Birds' on my phone to test it was working properly.
And that started it - the addiction of hp games slowly crept into my life.
As a time stealer, and an escape - only to leave me physically tired every day but emotionally not feeling any better. It occupied my mind outside of work. I didn't want to work OT, but I didn't want to think of all that has happened. So frustrating and confusing, the games became a convenient temporal satisfaction like alcohol to a broken heart.
Today I returned to home and had my games going again. For the last 4 days, even today.
And an utter disgust overwhelmed me, the thick layer of dust screamed at me and made my nose sneeze and eye itch terribly.
So it was hello, for the past 4 days. I know you will find your unlimited no. of victims in the broken world out there.
But goodbye, forever. I may miss you from time to time, but definitely less often as time goes by.
Playing each game for the last time, I recall the lovely world of Books I found in Manali, India.
O! That which increased my insights, and left me so much more satisfied, and changed my life a little by a little.
49 days ago, I packed my haversack in a hurry. With insufficent space in my bag and insufficient power in my back, I had to leave behind so many things I wanted to bring along with me.
Why did I leave?
Perhaps because I could no longer live with the person I have become to be.
8 years ago I found God.
6 years ago I found myself. lost.
Lost in the expectations of men, society and family.
4 years ago I abandoned almost everything I came to believe in and fled. I was physically existing and not liking a single bit of it.
I indulged in any form of ill discipline I could - the fruit of which is time lost, and an extremely terrible clutter of mess and dust in my own room.
The journey I embarked on 49 days ago is a mere beginning.
So I came back, a little changed.
And not being able to tolerate my old habits.
The frustrating but childish question that bogged my mind and soul for 4 years is slowly crumbling into pieces. The dead knot slowly loosened and hopefully untied.
And the childish acts of defiance to my own well-being was no longer even temporarily satisfying.
A year ago, when I got a new phone, the lady kindly downloaded 'Angry Birds' on my phone to test it was working properly.
And that started it - the addiction of hp games slowly crept into my life.
As a time stealer, and an escape - only to leave me physically tired every day but emotionally not feeling any better. It occupied my mind outside of work. I didn't want to work OT, but I didn't want to think of all that has happened. So frustrating and confusing, the games became a convenient temporal satisfaction like alcohol to a broken heart.
Today I returned to home and had my games going again. For the last 4 days, even today.
And an utter disgust overwhelmed me, the thick layer of dust screamed at me and made my nose sneeze and eye itch terribly.
So it was hello, for the past 4 days. I know you will find your unlimited no. of victims in the broken world out there.
But goodbye, forever. I may miss you from time to time, but definitely less often as time goes by.
Playing each game for the last time, I recall the lovely world of Books I found in Manali, India.
O! That which increased my insights, and left me so much more satisfied, and changed my life a little by a little.
 |
| If each game was 5min, I would have wasted almost 24h running away from a virtual gorilla. That's 3 full 8h work-days! |
 |
| This wasn't fun at all. Honestly, I played because everybody was playing it. |
 |
| RIP Guy Dangerous & the other characters of the game, whose names I forgotten in the duration I took to upload these photos. |
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