Sometimes when you leave for a place afar, you convince everybody else around you it's an awesome place you're going to. And their excitement is what keeps you on course instead.
So, with much apprehension, I managed to overcome the procrastination bugs within me and started packing my haversack - at 11.36pm. I've been travelling the past 2 months and I pretty know what I need to bring and where everything is. So it took me much faster than when I was packing for my 6 weeks to India.
Afterall, this was half the length and did not require any winter clothes.
But still, I ended at 4.46am.
And that helped me to wake up at 7.45am.
The flight was at 10.50am. Not funny.
Called a cab, still couldn't make it on time. Aunty was ready to leave with the cab empty by the time I got downstairs.
One right turn - main road.
Second right turn - road leading to the highway straigh to the airport.
I could make it. Really.
20 min later.
I was 20m away from where I was.
I couldn't take it anymore. I told aunty I was going to miss my flight.
She apologised."Usually PIE is faster than AYE".
But we both know. I should've gotten up earlier.
But I know. I should've packed my bag on Sunday night.
30min later, we passed the accident site. And merciful aunty kindly went all the way on the accelerator pedal.
But the clock was ticking, as if in response to her speed.
I could miss the flight.
Check-in online? Tried. Failed. Too late, it's closed.
A thousand heart beats later. I arrived at the terminal. I rushed to the counter, the service personnel quickly processed my check-in. No others in line seemed to be going to the same destination. Most of them are for later flights.
Nonethelss, I sped toward the custom clearance.
No goodbyes.
No need to look back.
I hadn't even had much time to tell my parents I was leaving.
I thought I would see them in the morning.
But I didn't.
Only woke up to hear my own sister showering in the toilet, and had time only to shout "good bye, I'm going to Thailand!"
That really haunted me as I raced toward the plane.
The last time I did that before leaving India, I returned without ever having the opportunity to say goodbye to a dear friend. I was just 100m away from her every night while doing my night shift.
I was so tired the last night, and hadn't packed my bags that I decided I will not go see her.
I thought I could bring back some nice stories to share with her.
She who has been imprisoned in that same room for the last 6 months after her bone marrow transplant. Infection after infection. I knew without a doubt she'd overcome them all. And soon, she'll be out and about in no time. I knew. I thought I knew.
So this short time I was back in Singapore. I made sure I said my goodbyes to the dear ones.
Because you never know when it really would be the last time.
But the truth is, I left them out of it. Subconciously or consciously. Maybe both.
My priorities are so messed up.
What good will come out of me, leaving them again?
How will I ever find that balance I've been wanting to achieve. Just 8 days back with them has numbed me of the feelings a healthy normal person would never wish to be without for the rest of their lives?
The feeling of family.
But then, what was that apprehension all about?
So, with much apprehension, I managed to overcome the procrastination bugs within me and started packing my haversack - at 11.36pm. I've been travelling the past 2 months and I pretty know what I need to bring and where everything is. So it took me much faster than when I was packing for my 6 weeks to India.
Afterall, this was half the length and did not require any winter clothes.
But still, I ended at 4.46am.
And that helped me to wake up at 7.45am.
The flight was at 10.50am. Not funny.
Called a cab, still couldn't make it on time. Aunty was ready to leave with the cab empty by the time I got downstairs.
One right turn - main road.
Second right turn - road leading to the highway straigh to the airport.
I could make it. Really.
20 min later.
I was 20m away from where I was.
I couldn't take it anymore. I told aunty I was going to miss my flight.
She apologised."Usually PIE is faster than AYE".
But we both know. I should've gotten up earlier.
But I know. I should've packed my bag on Sunday night.
30min later, we passed the accident site. And merciful aunty kindly went all the way on the accelerator pedal.
But the clock was ticking, as if in response to her speed.
I could miss the flight.
Check-in online? Tried. Failed. Too late, it's closed.
A thousand heart beats later. I arrived at the terminal. I rushed to the counter, the service personnel quickly processed my check-in. No others in line seemed to be going to the same destination. Most of them are for later flights.
Nonethelss, I sped toward the custom clearance.
No goodbyes.
No need to look back.
I hadn't even had much time to tell my parents I was leaving.
I thought I would see them in the morning.
But I didn't.
Only woke up to hear my own sister showering in the toilet, and had time only to shout "good bye, I'm going to Thailand!"
That really haunted me as I raced toward the plane.
The last time I did that before leaving India, I returned without ever having the opportunity to say goodbye to a dear friend. I was just 100m away from her every night while doing my night shift.
I was so tired the last night, and hadn't packed my bags that I decided I will not go see her.
I thought I could bring back some nice stories to share with her.
She who has been imprisoned in that same room for the last 6 months after her bone marrow transplant. Infection after infection. I knew without a doubt she'd overcome them all. And soon, she'll be out and about in no time. I knew. I thought I knew.
So this short time I was back in Singapore. I made sure I said my goodbyes to the dear ones.
Because you never know when it really would be the last time.
But the truth is, I left them out of it. Subconciously or consciously. Maybe both.
My priorities are so messed up.
What good will come out of me, leaving them again?
How will I ever find that balance I've been wanting to achieve. Just 8 days back with them has numbed me of the feelings a healthy normal person would never wish to be without for the rest of their lives?
The feeling of family.
But then, what was that apprehension all about?
Posts
